Winners

The ocean: Bush creates the world's largest marine reserve northwest of Hawaii. Baby seals everywhere rejoice.

Karl Rove: Bush's Brain escapes indictment in CIA leak case. As if the Dems could have had a worse week.  

Maoists in Nepal: Parliament is dissolved and rebels are invited to join new government. 

ICC: May issue indictments for Darfur war criminals soon. Someone has to take a stand. 

Losers

TB, malaria, guinea worm: Bill Gates will quit Microsoft in two years to tackle neglected diseases full-time.

Serbia & Montenegro: 6-0 loss to Argentina in today's World Cup match. Ouch.

Fake Show turkeys: The faux bird that accompanied Bush on his first surprise trip to Iraq in 2003 is left home alone. (Yes, the turkey was real. Thanks to everyone who wrote in about that. But no one ate it. It was a decoration.)

Guantanamo: You know things are bad when they kick the journalists out.